Edit 2023-05-07: New pics!

Edit 2022-09-22: Like me, this profile is a work in progress.

OkCupid used to be pretty great, right? Back in 2012 or so? Instead of swiping you could search. The compatibility score meant something. You could just send people messages (ok maybe that part wasn’t so great for everybody).

Then something(s) happened and online dating stopped working.

One of those “somethings” was that we got older. Older and somewhat jaded, in my case. And if not exactly less attractive, then at least more of an acquired taste.

Also there was the rise of the Tinder Clones (of which OKC is now one of the worst). Also Instagram filters and Snapchat lenses. Also, you know, a pandemic.

And so here we are a decade later writing bespoke “Date Me” docs, God help us. Somebody please, please fix this.

In the meantime, let’s get back to basics.


glasses.jpg Trying on my soon-to-be new glasses at Warby Parker. More photos below.

My self-summary

Hi, I’m Dan. Some stats:

  • ~40 years old
  • Based in Chicago (Lincoln Sq)
    • In Denver regularly for work
    • From Rochester, NY (most of my family still lives there)
  • Vegan since ~2016
  • Easygoing relationship anarchist
    • Cis, straight
    • Demisexual maybe? Or at least sometimes slow to warm up
  • OCD-ish (especially the “O”), but currently well-maintained via meds/therapy
  • 5’9” (176 cm)
    • ~150 lbs (~68 kg)
  • MS from University of Michigan (2007)
    • BS from SUNY Buffalo (2006)
  • Politically liberal (more libertarian than leftist)
  • Aspiring Effective Altruist

What I’m doing with my life

I’m really good at

  • Sports that involve balls
    • Fun fact: “ball” was my first word
  • Fixing your bike
    • Fixing your computer
  • Cat whispering
  • ƨɿoɿɿim ni ƨϱniʜɈ ϱnibɒɘЯ

I’m really bad at

I’m just ok at dancing.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food


  • One Hundred Years of Solitude
  • A Confederacy of Dunces
  • The Lathe of Heaven
    • Also the Hanish Cycle
  • 1950s Science Fiction
  • Everything by Vonnegut and DFW

See my Goodreads profile for more.


Pseudo-intellectual sci-fi movies involving time loops (it’s a Netflix genre).

I also have a special place for low-key romcoms like:

  • Just Like Heaven
    • How Do You Know?
  • Return To Me
  • Under the Tuscan Sun
  • Sleepless in Seattle
    • You’ve Got Mail
  • The Holiday
  • American Ultra(?)
  • An American President
    • Dave
  • The Little Hours
  • Blast from the Past


I watch a lot of TV, but mostly in the background while working. I have probably seen that show but only faintly remember details about the characters/plot.


  • Beck
  • Belle & Sebastian
  • Bon Iver
  • Fleet Foxes
  • Jacob Collier (holy shit right?)
  • Kendrick Lamar
  • My Bloody Valentine
  • Radiohead
  • Sharon Van Etten
  • Sufjan Stevens
  • Wilco


My diet mostly consists of:

  • Blueberry bagels and Tofutti cream cheese
  • MorningStar Chick’n patties
  • Chai lattes (oat milk)
  • Soylent (Mint Chocolate or Strawberry)

I will eat all of your snacks though.

The six things I could never do without

  • Carbon
  • Hydrogen
  • Nitrogen
  • Oxygen
  • Phosphorus
  • Sulfur

I spend a lot of time thinking about

How strange it is to be anything at all.


  • Is my head moving faster than my feet?
  • Really though, what the hell is money?

On a typical Friday night I am


You should message me if

In the short-term, I’m open to connections of all varieties, but am especially looking for in-person dates with women 25 to 45 years old, who are smart, attractive, and kind (or at least 2/3).

In the medium-term, I’d like to find one or more new romantic partners that I see with some regularity. For reference, I currently have a long-distance partner of 5+ years.

In the long-term, I’m not sure! I’ve recently gone from being a “no thanks” to a “maybe?” on having kids (though it’s still hard to imagine intentionally seeking them out). I’m historically not much for cohabitation, and value my independence (and my partner’s too).

You shouldn’t message me if

  • You’re exclusively looking for a monogamous partner
  • You want to have kids soon
  • You don’t like truth-seeking conversational norms
  • You’re not willing to eat vegan around me (within reason)

But if you’re on the fence, you might as well just say hi!


climbing.jpg Getting back into climbing after a ~10 year broken-hand hiatus.

pre-coffee.jpg At Buzz Mill in Austin, a 24 hour coffee shop/bar, which is the best kind of bar (and coffee shop).

post-coffee.jpg However, I do not mix well with caffeine.


dream-baby.jpg Dream, baby.